…And Then There Were Two!

Parting is such sweet sorrow…

Unfortunately our time together only lasted 2 months as Dane had to return home after a problem with his eyes developed, caused by overly long hours, lack of sleep, stress and poor diet (crew food is not the same as the guests!).

Our courtship had consisted of stolen moments between shifts, meeting for coffee before shifts, riding the elevator together when we were headed in the same direction, and the very rare hour or 2 on shore. If you added all these minutes together we might have consistently seen each other for about 7-10hrs in 2 months, and that’s being generous. Yet, it felt like we had always been together, I couldn’t imagine life without him and at the same time I couldn’t imagine life with him, they seemed one and the same.

The day he left there were tears and then I focused on cleaning and at least my sorrow resulted in a very clean cabin.

I have something for you…

We both came down with something, he ended up having a severe sinus infection and I assume I had strep throat so we did not chat for a few days after he left. However, once we were both healed he was there waiting for me online EVERY SINGLE EVENING!! He would tell his friends he had to leave drinking to come talk to me, he would decline bar trips so he could be there when I finished my shift. I had never had anyone do this. And in the 2.5mths we were apart there was only 1 night he decided to go to the bar, but he let me know and then was online at 3am just in case I was awake.

Usually we would chat on Skype video but would also exchange facebook chats throughout the day, on one particular chat the conversation went something like this:

Dane: I have something for you

Kathy: ummmmm, if this is a proposal then YES!

Dane: Great! But it’s not gold, and it’s not a diamond, I hope that’s ok….

Kathy: It’s beautiful and I love it even more!

Dane: So when can you leave the ship….

And that started one of the most complicated process I have ever had to deal with on the ships… signing off!

In a Car???

It turned out our ship would dock in the port of Thessaloniki, Greece, twice during the month of October. This port was only an hour and a half from where Dane lived so we decided I would try and end my contract on one of those dates and if that was not possible do a sign off. A sign off is when you voluntarily end your contract, you must provide your own transport home and often risk never being given another contract. This seemed like a good enough reason…

At first I asked the head of my department if I could simply end my contract a month early (I would have worked 6mths, a usual minimum) and it turned out my replacement was already there (she was replacing the French host and would have taken on the English speaker duties once I left. For some incomprehensible reason they said NO! So I did the next best thing and went to see the Crew Purser to sign off, a bemusing conversation that went like this:

Me: I wish to sign off in the port of Thessaloniki

Crew Purser (CP): Ummmm do you have a flight home?

Me: No, my fiance will come and pick me up from Macedonia

CP: Macedonia…. is that a country or a city?

Me: It’s a country just North of Greece

CP: So does he have a flight ticket?

Me: no he is driving to pick me up

CP: In a car???

Me: ahhhh yes driving in a car….

It was very hard to keep the sarcasm in check… but eventually I was given the correct paperwork, ostracized by my superiors for deigning to leave the ship to be married and in general actually feeling pretty good (I think the truth of the matter hadn’t truly sunk in, it just felt right).

They Won’t Let the Ship Leave, and Might Call Interpol! 

All too soon the day came. The crew purser took me to see the Greek Immigration and then released me to finish sorting and packing. Later I went to pick up my passport and asked if there was anything else I had to do, he assured me everything was good and I was free to leave.

I headed down the gangway, for what would turn out to be the last time, and into my new life.

Dane arrived, wearing a suit, to pick me up… I think I was a little in shock as the truth of what was happening began slipping in… I was meeting a man I had known for 5mths and agreeing to marriage, but what the hell, I was 39 and he seemed nice enough (literally this went through my head).

A few hours later we were enjoying lunch when a collegue came up and said “OMG Kathy, they are looking for you everywhere, they won’t let the ship leave (which was only due to leave in 4hrs), you need to go back now!!!” I couldn’t believe it, I thought it was a joke. I hadn’t had my phone on and when I connected to the internet I saw messages from everyone, including my folks (they had called to see if I was home in the US…. seriously??). I ran back and the port agent look like he had aged 10yrs, he sighed with relief and said immigration was on the verge of calling interpol since I had jumped ship… WTF!

Turns out when the crew purser told me I was free to leave, there was nothing I had to do, no one I had to see, what he actually meant was “before you leave the ship you must report back to the Greek immigration upstairs for a stamp in your passport”, gee I wonder how I missed that one…

Luckily the very annoyed looking agents gave me a stamp after sufficiently making me feel like some kind of a criminal and I was free to leave the port, but would have to report to the chief at the border station for approval… I think I lost about 6 lives that day…

Why Are You Disturbing Me???

Well we got to the Greek/Macedonia border and I nervously was taken to see the big guy in charge. It turns out I never needed any stamp as I was

1 – immediately leaving the country

AND

2 – a US citizen who would very unlikely prefer to jump ship and live as an illegal in Greece….

If anything the big guy was more annoyed at having his afternoon coffee disturbed by his subordinate….

So, that is where my ship life ends and my new life starts, engaged and ultimately married to an amazing man and living part time in Macedonia (birthplace of Mother Theresa and Alexander the Great) and part time in the US. Adventure is out there… let life begin!

 

 

It’s Good To Be Back!

Hey All! Greetings and salutations!

Many of you might have wondered where I had disappeared to these past 3yrs… perhaps I had moved to a beautiful tropical island (been there done that), or explored the temples of stunning Mystical Nepal (nope been there too), or perhaps… just possibly…. I had found the love of my life and discovered once you get married “You are never alone again!”. If you voted for the last one then you would be right. Who knew, especially after the last time I opened my heart, I would find someone so perfectly wonderful who could handle my weird craziness.

Just When You Think You Have It All Figured Out….

The last time I left you, I had become a Padi Dive Instructor, explored Laos and had decided to head back to sea and the cruise ships. This entire adventure had brought to light many insecurities I never truly admitted I had, insecurities from being bullied back in school, from never feeling like I was good enough, from always being in the friend zone with guys… When I passed I remember saying to my fellow students, as I balled my eyes out, “Am I finally cool??”. In utter shock they replied saying, “You? cool? You, the one who has lived in 4 different countries? Who speaks 3 different languages and a smattering of about another 5? Who has travelled solo to over 50 countries? Who has spent 3 yrs working on cruise ships and traveling to a further 20 countries? You were cool way before passing you instructor exam…!!!!!”.

I left Koh Phangan island, with my head held high, a new sense of confidence, a new sense of self-understanding. Then to add to that, I met a bunch of “youngsters”, most of them traveling for the first time, in the hostel in Bangkok, and suddenly found myself Mamma bird to a large group of newbies and realizing something else… I had become that savvy, confident, traveling, friend/daughter/sister/aunt, the one you meet and wish someday, perhaps, your adventures would equal theirs. In other words I discovered who I was in those months spent diving and traveling in South East Asia and I left it feeling a new sense of purpose and drive.

“TRAVEL IS WHO I AM, WHERE I FEEL MOST CONFIDENT, SO NO MORE GUILT, NO MORE SELF DOUBT, TRAVEL, CRUISE SHIPS AND ADVENTURES AWAIT ME!”

And Then I Walked Into His Bar….

I had the entire year planned out, home after Thailand for a few months to help out the folks, then return to the ship for 6-8mths and save, then return to my homeland of South Africa and do a 2 month cross country trip with Baz Bus which included most of my dream trip through Southern Africa.

I boarded MSC Opera in late May, and in my first week I went to grab a glass of water in one of the bars onboard. There I met a waiter named Dane (DA-NEH), from Macedonia… What I didn’t know, as I left the bar, was that he had decided to date me. In fact there was a good chance we were already dating and I just hadn’t got the memo….

Over the next month he utterly confused me by giving me little winks from across the room, the kind of wink that makes you go weak at the knees, but didn’t understand why. He hardly spoke to me as the waiters had insane hours and barely a chance to sleep let alone chat up a lady. My job as Social Hostess was to walk around and talk to guests and make sure there were no issues or questions. I soon realized I was inadvertently circling the bars Dane was working in, which he will forever claim to be me stalking him.

After close to a month of winks and smiles, I finally just asked him “Do you want to grab a coffee?”, his reply “well of course that’s the plan”…. again memo, didn’t get it. He even knew my cabin number, now who was stalking who??

The Way to a Man’s Heart

People always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However, if you work on a ship with no time to even wash your socks then the girl you like offers to wash them you turn to your friend and say “I am going to marry that girl!”. And that is exactly what happened.

Our friend Nenad, a waiter from Serbia, was lamenting one day at how he never had time to even wash his socks. Since my schedule often allowed large breaks, giving me time to not only explore and nap but also to do laundry, I offered to start washing socks. I had barely got the words out when Nenad had a bag packed and was handing it to me. Dane on the other hand, said he washed them in the sink and not to worry. It took 3 washes of Nenad’s socks before he finally agreed and once he received them back, washed and folded he was smitten….He actually told his roommate “I am going to marry that girl”. Shortly after that first sock wash we had our first date at a crew party and it was like we had always been together.

 

To be cont….

 

 

 

Return to Real Life

17th December 2011

Return to Real Life

After catching up with friends the following day in Seattle I flew out on Saturday morning back to Eugene, Oregon and my folks. It was fantastic seeing them and being back, but with every piece of clothing I unpacked I wished I could be repacking. The urge to keep moving is always strongest for me when I return. However, my bed was a blessing even if it did come with 2 cats vying for the most uncomfortable position they could put me in.

Fortunately I would not have to do the dreaded job search, a low point for any world traveler. A mobile vet I had worked with before leaving needed a new assistant and I would start Monday… no recovery time for the wicked I guess. It was good to start work and be occupied, it was also a bonus that being a mobile clinic meant it was almost like I was still traveling. However, that only lasts for so long and pretty soon I knew I would be leaving again by the end of 2012. Returning in the middle of Oregon winter doesn’t help the cause to stay at home either.

Return of the Vet Nurse

Boyfriend, Schmoyfriend

I had not heard from Buddha for a week and after another week on Christmas day I finally said “ENOUGH!!!”. I was sick and tired of being played and strung along with the excuse of bad connections. I had been wearing an Irish Claddagh ring for 10yrs, always on the single side and had turned it to being in a relationship when we had skyped back in Germany. I took it off and packed it away so over always having that define me. I decided to focus on getting my vet nurse certificate and focus on a year here in Eugene before looking for something permanent and well paid abroad.

The day after Christmas I got the first of many texts and calls. He sweetly told me how sorry he was but that he had been in India doing a required course for the ship, that he missed me and wished to skype me every day. I fell for it but was skeptical for a long time.

The truth was that the Australian girl he had lived with the past month had left that day. She had told him to stop stringing me along and so for 2 weeks he did. But now that he had no one else to sweet talk he turned his attentions back to me. In truth I can’t be completely bitter towards him, as the attentions and feelings of being loved were some of the happiest memories I have had and would also lead to a trip to Italy and a cruise where he asked me to marry him. But that is a story for a later entry…

 

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow….

1st December 2011

Farewells

I have never been very good at goodbyes, you would think after so many I would be better at it. But alas, I shall always be an emotional person.

We decided Buddha would not come to the airport with me as I was leaving at 6.20am and was sharing a taxi with Namiko, the Japanese girl from the night before. However, he did carry my bags down and into the car. It wasn’t a very emotional goodbye with us hanging onto each other, I think we were both in shock that our time was over. So with a hug and a kiss and tears just barely welling in my eyes I drove off into the sunrise towards the airport with him watching after me.

I have had holiday romances before and always I am a complete wreck when I leave. This time seemed a little different, a little calmer, I just felt deeply sad but there was a glimmer of hope that we would meet again. Like something was meant to be…maybe…or is that just my girlish dreams infiltrating my practical brain?

Airport Security… Nepal Style

Before getting far in the taxi we had a flat or needed to inflate the tire, not sure as there was so much incense burning IN the cab that I was in a daze!

Finally arriving in plenty of time we went to enter the airport, it was all very confusing as we were not permitted to enter until a certain amount of time before our flight. So joining the mulling masses we hung around outside for a further 10minutes. Then it was security check 1, there would be many more to follow.

Warning Soppy Moment: Standing in line I sent a text to Buddha telling him to sleep well. He replied with “I am sleeping but think of you and dream I am flying”. I wish he was flying with me.

At the baggage counter my fear of having my checked bag overweight was soon alleviated as it was 6KG under. However, in my zealous attempts to achieve just this my carry on was 6KG over. The guy suggested I transfer items, but I feared an explosion if I attempted to unzip either bag as they were packed to the brim. I have a slight shopping in developing countries habit. The guy kind of winked and let me off without having to pay a fee. But then, he followed me as I walked away from check in asking for a tip… I guess thats one way of putting it. Except for two 1000 rupees (which was a little much I thought), I only had a 20 rupee. He wasn’t overly impressed at my backpacker generosity but took it and walked off in disgust.

Namiko was still in line for check in and I hung around waiting for her. Unfortunately, with time ticking away to under an hour for my flight I said cheers and hoped we would meet in Delhi on our mutual layovers. Just as well I did, because the road blocks, starting with entry to the airport, along the way were numerous.

Security 2 – As I attempted to go up the escalated the guard asked to see airline tags on my bags, turned out I needed one on EVERY form of bag, except myself… You didn’t need to write anything it just needed the tag.

Security 3 – Men and women were separated into 2 lines, this is one of the few times being in the ladies line is to your benefit. Bags were scanned as we walked thru a scanner, and then bags were searched. This is when bag tags are stamped.

Soppy Moment Warning: While I waited I called Buddha, normally nothing wakes him up, but he answered and we said we missed each other. He told me to call before I took off.

Security 4 – yup you guessed it, apparently going from lounge to plane on the tarmac there is a chance of picking something contraband up. We had to have our bags searched again right at the foot of the stairs to the plane and be patted down.

Finally on the plane I was waiting for the flight attendants to ask to search our bags again before giving us a snack at take off. Even in the states I have never gone through so many check points. I think I had collected about 2 bag tags for each bag at this point.

Soppy Moment Warning: As requested I called him one last time before take off. He wished me safe travel and said he missed me already. I am really not sure how I feel, as mentioned most boys left me in a wreck when I left them, but feel strangely calm this time and can’t quite figure out why…

As the plane left Kathmandu and I watched the mountains disappear in the mist… smog… I realized that Nepal was everything and yet nothing I expected it to be. From the insanity of Kathmandu to the tranquility of Nagakot, from the food to the markets to the friendly, kind nature of the Nepali people, to the guy who has part of my heart. This has been one of my most pivotal stops… one that will, ultimately, change my life completely…